Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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