i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
