the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
