thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
