I think I died a long time ago.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
