This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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