Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
