im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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