I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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