well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
