Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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