Got a toothbrush?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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