They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
