you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
