Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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