i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
