It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
