In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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