i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
