so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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