yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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