College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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