At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
