he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
