I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
