big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Alive.
So much puke
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
