Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
