Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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