Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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