How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
