Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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