bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
