The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
