i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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