is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
