The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
