I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
