If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
