how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
