I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
