turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
