You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
