Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
