Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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