the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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