I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
