look no pants
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
