Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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