maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
