got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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